Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
