i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
