I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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