Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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