My liver just broke up with me...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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