My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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