You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
