I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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