i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
