Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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