Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Bring me that man meat
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
