drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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