I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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