we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
