i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
