If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
