Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
