Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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