I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize