Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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