I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
