i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
