well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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