I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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