It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
