Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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