I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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