Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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