my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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