Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
