It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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