hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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