I want to stick my p in your. b.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
