I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
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So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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