the condom got lost in my hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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