Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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