So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
