tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
