what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
