and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Four minutes until I can fart!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
