the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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