sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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