We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
