he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
