so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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