she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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