I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is it fun? or sober?
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