VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
