he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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