He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
