i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
