"it" just moved
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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