Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
me + whiskey = a bad person
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
