i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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