Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
