Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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