my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
