I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
