if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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