he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
