My friends, they love my intelligence
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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