When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
