Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
