Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Less talking, more tequila
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
